Watch the Celebrity Appentice First Boardroom

Below are three videos of the Celebrity Apprentice Episode 1 boardroom:

Celebrity Apprentice Episode 1 - Boardroom Part 1



Celebrity Apprentice Episode 1 - Boardroom Part 2



Celebrity Apprentice Episode 1 - Boardroom Part 3

Celebrity Apprentice Airs January 3rd in the Name of Charity - Playmate Tiffany Fallon is fired

Thursday January 3rd was a milestone in Apprentice television history, as Donald Trump explored a new realm of employee, "hiring" 14 "celebrities" to do some dirty work for charity. Mr Trump selected a variety of celebrities (including some I had never heard of) for Season 7 of the NBC TV show, and split them into two teams: boys versus girls.

Actor Stephen Baldwin took control of team Hydra (named after Lernaean Hyrda, a Greek mythological serpent-like water beast with several heads). Despite Piers Morgan's claims that even Hercules could not even kill the beast, according to legend Hydra was defeated by the Hercules at a swamp near Lake Lerna. The woman's team saw Omarosa become the first Project Manager and the name Empresario was decided upon (the Spanish word for a business mogul).

The teams first task? To sell hot dogs in New York City. Whoever made the most money won the challenge, simple as that.

And Omarosa just sucked! Her blatant disregard for flaunting the teams celebrity status was mirrored in the outfits the team wore which likened them to eachother, rather than making them stand out as individuals. Ivana Trump pointed this out in the boardroom stating that the red caps Empresario wore hid their celebrity status from the crowd. I suppose half of Empresario, including Omarosa wouldn't be recognized by your average Joe anyway.

On the other hand team Hydra completely exploited its celebrity status to its advantage. While the mens brainstorming before the challenge seemed quite uninspiring (until Gene Simmons whips out his cell phone and calmly asks a friend to come by their hot dog stand the next day and purchase a wiener in a roll for $10,000), the implementation was quite extraordinary.

In the end, between both teams, around $69,000 was raised for charity, going this week to the winning Project Manager, Stephen Baldwin. The Carol M. Baldwin Breast Cancer Research Fund should be receiving a nice little cheque in the mail soon.

The boardroom ensued with the wannabe Omarosa, the playmate Tiffany Fallon, and the former model Carol Alt battling for survival against the Donald's finger and infamous catchphrase. Although Omarosa contradicted herself several times in the boardroom, she was fighting for her life and wriggled her way out of it.

The playmate was a little too nice, and despite Trump's reasoning for firing Fallon, we all know they real reason she was K.O.'d: Trump and the producers want to see the "killers" (or bitches) go at it. For this reason alone I think Omarosa will last a while in the race to become the celebrity apprentice. However, Omarosa will not win the celebrity apprentice. If I was to bet on anyone I'd be putting my moneybags on Gene Simmons.

Stefani Schaeffer Hired, Frank, Nicole and James Fired.

Much to my dismay The Mouth, Frank Lombardi was fired on the finale of the Apprentice. I was rooting for him all along, but really deep down I think we all knew it was gonna be between Stefani and James in the final. Frank was ultimtely let go because of his decision to bring back Suyra for the final task. The Donald felt that given the terms on which Frank and Surya, The Hair (who has since shaven his afro) left eachother, it was not a good decision for them to work together again. Likewise, Nicole's demise was due to the fact that she choose Tim for the final task. As the Donald said, 'Nicole, I'm a believer in romance, but I'm not a believer in office romance. You love Tim. You like Tim. I think that's wonderful, but you know what? I want you to love me more. It's important because I've got to be the boss. Nicole, you're fired.'' Great lines Trump.

So, we were left with Stefani and James to duke it out for a $250,000 job for the Trump organization working either in Atlanta or Capcana - in the Caribbean. Interestingly, when asked, James and Frank preferred the Atlanta skyscraper project, while Stefani and Nicole opted for the luxurious project in the sun. No surprises there.

But, inevitably there could only be one winner, and my second favorite, Stefani came out on top. Donald's reason for hiring her, or more so his reason for firing James was because The Webhead had apparantly made some inappropriate comments during the show that weren't aired? It must have been a lot more offensive than Derek's white trash comment, yet despite this, he made it to the final two. James tried to reason that Stefani couldn't lead from the front but only behind from behind the scenes, but Stefani's case was too strong: she had never been to one boardroom or been bad-mouthed by her team. To be honest, one of the main reasons she got so far was because of the way she handled herself. She never stuttered and always had a solid answer. All of the other candidates, at one point or another, found themselves struggling to answer one of the Donald's questions.

KRISTINE ON THE COVER OF PLAYBOY:

So, in fifth place, The Schmoozer, Kristine Lefebvre will now be appearing on the cover of Playboy magazine in June. I must admit she is quite a milf (at 37 and the oldest cadidate this year) but I still prefer Stefani as "The Hottie" of the show although her hair was quite different on last night's finale.

Trump Tees Up Final Four Showdown at Hollywood Bowl

In the penultimate week of The Apprentice, the candidates had to write, produce and direct a commerical for Renuzit, an odor product (pretty much like Febreze), to be shown in front of a live audience at a movie theater. However, more interestingly, the teams, James and Stefani versus Frank and Nicole, had to select two fired candidates to return to help them with the task.

And there were some surprise selections. First, Frank opted to bring back The Hair, Surya (who wasn't featured an awful lot on the episode but was, without a doubt, as anal as ever.) Then James and Stefani opted for The Olympian, Angela (or as I like to call her, Mangela), whom neither have worked with on the show? A rather strange selection, which makes me wonder if it was really their decision at all. Then, to no surprise, Nicole was reunited with her Musician, Tim and Stefani and James selected Aaron, a smart choice.

Both commercials had there perks...and their downsides. Honestly, I felt the courtroom scene that James and Stefani selected was a better concept than a hospital scene, but James' perfectionism meant the execution was poorly managed and inevitably they took too damn long. On the other hand, although the Hospital scene was a bit obscure, I felt Frank's management on set was excellent and he carried the team. Frank's commercial (yes, Frank's, where was Nicole?) also hit the target market; mother's with children, whereas Stefani and James' didn't really do so, but was more focused on brand identification and recognition.

So, The Donald decide against firing anyone, teeing up a much anticipated finale event at the Hollywood bowl on April 22nd. As NBCpoll numbers showed today (04/16), James and Stefani are hot favorites, tied at 38% of the vote, with frank in third with 15% of the vote and Nicole lagging in last place with 9%. I still fancy my man, Frank, to pull off a surprise "You're Hired" from The Donald, as I could see him getting into the "knitty-gritty" and working for Trump. Stefani, however, is such a strong cnadidate, and really presents herself professionally, whereas, James really has a great chance too, and overall he has been very consistent. Nicole, could only win this in her dreams and might as well go home to the land of people who cannot talk without shouting all the fucking time.

Personally, I can't wait. Common Frank!

Kinetic Gone! Heidi and Kristine fired.

Trump really switched things up this week. Firstly, no loosing team has to live in the tents anymore and the candidates were asked to splits into three teams of two. So, the obvious team choices would have been James and Stefani, Frank and Nicole (former Arrow members) and Heidi and Kristine (Kinetic members). But a woman scorned is a woman scorned, and Kristine felt bitter about the last task (and specifically Heidi taking all the credit for the win) so she chose Nicole instead. Probably a stupid move as the two had hardly worked together. Leaving Frank with Heidi.

So what the fuck were these people doing? Apart, from James and Stefani, whom I applaud for their very good work and professional presentation, the other presentations were a load of crap. Seriously I could put something together on my own in 2 hours! Heidi and Frank's brochure was absolutely disgusting! No pictures - just text and it wasn't even arranged aesthetically? Actually, I agree with The Donald who said he would probably have fired both Heidi and Frank's arses if Kristine hadn't fucked up the phone number.

Having said that, when Heidi is asked who's to blame she said everytime "I"d blame both of us." You know you're guilty as hell if you're saying that. Then Heidi tries the reverse psychology on The Donald, "If you want to fire me solely based on this task, I would 100 percent agree with you." So without a hint of hesitation The Donald points the finger, "Heidi, you're fired!" And then before anyone can even blink, "Kristine, you're fired." I think The Donald sensed they were running out of time and that this farse had gone on long enough, so he decided to end it.

My original favorite Frank has made it to the final four (despite widespread cynicism) but he's looking a bit shaky right now. Stefani looks like a hot favorite (she is smoking hot and now Heidi's been booted out she can take the role of The Hottie) and James is a stronger contender than I initially thought. Nicole will be gone next week.

Candidate Logos From Logostick.com

The kind folks at Logostick.com have donated some logos to The Angry Apprentice so that we can highlight the "nicknames" of The Apprentice LA cast. Here are a few logos:

First up and first to be booted out of the show, MARTIN aka "The Philosopher:



Next to go was CAREY, "The (Pink) Perfectionist." You gotta love this logo:



Then the measly MICHELLE, or "The Closer" (I prefer "The Johny" as Frank calls her) resigned:



Then MARISA aka The Politico, or as I like to call her, The Complete Fucking Dumb Ass:



AARON, or The Adapter, was the one to go in week 5: (Where do they get some of these names from?)



The Thinker, AIMEE, was given the finger the following week:



Then The Donald decided to heat things up and get rid of two idiots in week 7, firing both The Risktaker, DEREK, and The Blonde, JEN:



Next up and probably the most satisfying firing of the season so far, The Hair, SURYA, gets tossed from the show despite his "record:"



Then the Mandroid, with as far as we know zero business qualifications, ANGELA aka "The Olympian" gets smashed out of the competition:



Then alas (a small violin plays in the background) the heartthrob TIM, The Musician, leaves us. What a darn shame!

Vince Mcmahon's Head Shaved - The Donald Wins Again

So, as I had predicted a few weeks ago in an earlier post Donald Trump won The Battle of the Billionaires at WWE Wrestlemania. As The Donald has now decided to venture into other realms of entertainment, he has become a frequent character on World Wrestling Entertainment and recently challenged Vince McMahon to a wrestling contest. Alas, the old men didn't physically duke it out against each other in the ring, but instead selected a wrestler each to represent them at Wrestlmania on Sunday 1st April. And was The Donald ever in any trouble of loosing his trademark golden locks? I don't think so and as we can see below wealthy Vince McMahon (although McMahon's fortune is measly in comparison to The Donald's) is loosing something money can't buy: his dignity (he could always purchase a toupe.) So what next Donald, UFC?

Now That's Music to My Ears: Tim Fired

Predictably, team Kinetic won this week, resulting in Tim being fired from Team Arrow, reducing the team to three members. The task: both team had to design a supplement for some new mouthwash, which was included in a weekend edition of the LA Times. Kinetic's supplement was actually quite impressive and conversely Arrow's was appaling, which leads me to believe whether the producers had given the designers and photogrphers working with each team a hidden agenda (to help Kinetic win and Arrow lose so the team would be even going into the final weeks of the show.) Anyway, It was between the Musician (Tim) and The Mouth (Frank) this week (which worries me as I had tipped Frank to win) but ultimately my man, Frank, came out on top again. Heidi, The Hottie, once again thinks she Gods gift to the Apprentice after winning again as project manager, despite the string of losses in recent weeks. Other than that it was quite an uneventful week, but hopefully things will get a little more exciting with only six players left. Common Frank, I know you can win it.

Angela On Thin Ice, and Fired!

This week the teams had to sell season passes for Universal Studios. Simply, whoever made the most money won, and with Frankie (The Mouth) and Arrow being more aggressive, they came out on top. Actually, I believe they sold 23% more tickets than Kinetic, whose team is just disintegrating right now.

Also, the little twist of separating Tim from Nicole was inevitable, especially considering that one other player had already switched teams this season. And while on the matter, I have to say that I agree with with my man Frank, who was quite outraged at Tim's unprofessionalism over some girl he's only known "for two weeks."

So The Olympian was fired (business qualifications, please someone fill me in here?) But, really could The Donald have pointed his finger at anyone else? (Although ironically when he fired Angela he did not carry out his trademark of pointing his finger). However, Angela's selling point as a candidate for The Apprentice was her achievements at the Olympics and not much else, so inevitably she was never going to get very far and I'm surprised she did as well as she did.

So, now things are really starting to heat up, as most of the remaining candidates on The Apprentice are probably capable of working for the Donald (bar Tim and Nicole) but my final four will be Heidi (The Hottie) and Kristine (The Schmoozer) from Kinetic and Frank (The Mouth) and Stefani (The Realist) from Arrow.

NO PROBLEM-O DONALD!

So, it appears that The Donald has a host of celebrity friends. First there was Phil Jackson and The Lakers, then Snoop Dogg and now The Governator himself, Arnie (I won't attempt his full name). Yes Arnie, "a great man and a great friend of mine," is pretty tight with The Donald and Team Arrow were treated to tea at his humble abode.

Hasta la vista Donald. G-Don becomes B-Don (Buff Donald) in this mock up. A relationship with Mr Universe can do wonders for your self-esteem.